


The One with All the Kissing

by southsidewrites



Series: The Southside Serpents as F.R.I.E.N.D.S. [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Friends AU, Friendship, Humor, Romance, Secret Relationship, Whyte Wyrm, southside serpents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 06:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14514225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southsidewrites/pseuds/southsidewrites
Summary: You and Sweet Pea are in a secret relationship, and when Sweet Pea accidentally kisses you in front of all of your friends, desperate measures are required to keep your secret safe.Based on episode 5x02 of Friends: The One with All the Kissing; A One-Shot in The Southside Serpents as F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Anthology





	The One with All the Kissing

You rested your head on the dingy couch and took another sip of your beer.  It was starting to get late, and it was a school night, but none of you wanted to leave the Whyte Wyrm yet.  A bunch of kids had just been initiated, and everyone was having too good of a time.  You were sitting on the couch next to Sweet Pea, a careful few inches of space between you.  Ever since you’d started dating, you’d both been hyper-aware of your behavior when you were together.  The last thing you needed was for everyone to know, especially after Toni had made everyone swear off friend-group dating after a particularly awkward game of truth or dare.  

You hadn’t tried to get together—it just kind of happened.  The two of you had been friends since you were kindergarten together that Southside Elementary, so when the River Vixen he’d been enamored with broke his heart at the beginning of senior year, you were there for him.  A few late-night Pop’s trips later, you found yourself making out in the parking lot behind the diner.  It was exhilarating until you remembered that you had all sworn not to date.

“C'mon, Pea, it’s been how long since you’ve had a date now?  Three months?  Four?  I’m worried.” Toni was giving him an amused look from where she was sitting on the empty pool table. “It’s unlike you to go so long without finding some desperate Northsider trying to piss off daddy.”

Sweet Pea rolled his eyes, and you saw his grip on the arm of the couch tighten. “I’m taking some time to myself, Toni.”

“Bullshit,” Jughead replied. “They’ve just realized that you’re a living, breathing bad idea.”

Fangs laughed. “Or maybe he’s secretly in love with someone, and she’s rejecting his desperate ass.”

“Ha, ha, guys, so funny,” Sweet Pea drawled, taking a big sip of beer. “At least I’m not dating the sheriff’s son.”

“I wouldn’t say we’re dating,” Fangs replied defensively. “Just friends.”

“I usually don’t touch my friend’s dicks,” Jughead remarked. “Like, never, actually, but if that’s what you consider friendship, I may need to reconsider ours.”

Everyone laughed, and Toni redirected her gaze to you. “And what about you, Miss Forever Single?  Any guys breaking through your walls of unapproachability?”

You rolled your eyes.  Being a Serpent, and a Serpent that spent a lot of time with Sweet Pea, you had a bit of a reputation for being un-dateable.  Only the bravest guys made it through your tall, angry best friend, and those who did never seemed to last long.  You had never minded, though, especially now that you did have a boyfriend.

“I’ll have you know that once again, I’ve sworn off guys.”

“And what did we do this time, Y/N?” Jughead asked.

“Well, Reggie Mantle asked me if I wanted to Netflix and chill with him after the basketball game.  I legit thought that was just something people on the internet said.”

Toni laughed, shaking her head. “That guy’s just gross.  You’d think he’d have grown out of it by now.”

You sighed, pulling your legs underneath yourself and resting your arm on the couch behind Sweet Pea. “I guess I’m just doomed to be alone.”

Sweet Pea smirked, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.  Of the two of you, you were by far the better liar, having had to cover for his slip-ups on more than one occasion.  Luckily, no one seemed to be suspicious yet.

A phone rang, and Sweet Pea groaned. “I swear to god, if that’s F.P.” He tugged the phone out of his pocket and climbed off the couch to talk to him.

“Looks like someone’s missing class again tomorrow,” you observed, watching as Sweet Pea paced around the back of the bar, his phone pressed to his ear.  You felt a twinge of worry for him—he looked stressed, and although he wouldn’t admit it, he hated missing school for Serpent jobs.

“I just hope it’s not a two-person job,” Fangs said. “I have a math test first hour that I’d rather not make up.”

A moment later, Sweet Pea walked back over and slumped onto the couch. “Well, it looks like I need to go make a run to Greendale.”

You frowned, doing your best to look like no more than a concerned friend. “Leaving now?”

He nodded.  Then, not thinking, he turned to you, grabbed your cheek, and pulled you in for a kiss.  A brief moment later, he pulled back with a smile. “See you–” His eyes widened in horror, and you both turned slowly to look at your friends.  

Their jaws had all dropped, leaving all five of you sitting there like a bunch of dumb-ass frogs trying to catch the world’s slowest flies.

You didn’t know what to do—no lie would cover this one.  Then, Sweet Pea sprang into action crossing over to the pool table, grabbing Toni’s hips, and pressing his mouth to hers for a kiss.

Toni’s eyes were wide, and her hands were frozen at her sides.  Sweet Pea was giving the kiss his all, and she had no idea how to react.

_What the–?_

Sweet Pea broke away. “See you later, Topaz.”  Then, he moved to the chair where Fangs was sitting, grabbed the front of his leather coat, and pulled him to his feet for a startlingly passionate kiss.

Fangs seemed slightly less surprised than Toni, but he was still frozen in place as Pea kissed him.  His hands lifted like he might push him away, but he wasn’t sure that he should.

Your eyes were darting around, trying to read your friend’s expressions.  If they had been shocked before, now they were goddamn befuddled.

Sweet Pea broke away from Fangs, grinned, winked, and turned to face Jughead.  His eyes fixed on his friend who looked about ready to leap out the window.

“Oh no, big guy.  No fucking chance.”

Sweet Pea shrugged, still smirking. “No problem, Jones.  You’d probably be a shitty kisser anyways.” He looked around at everyone, his gaze resting on you long enough for a quick wink. “See you guys later.” He strode to the door, a subtle swagger in his step.  If he had any anxiety about kissing his friends, it sure wasn’t showing.  

Tall Boy, who had seen the whole encounter go down, was giving him a skeptical look, his eyebrows rising in unamused distaste.

“Tall Boy!” Sweet Pea grabbed his face with a grin and planted a kiss on the older man’s lips. “My man, see you later!”

You nearly choked, gasping loudly as you watched your boyfriend walk unharmed past a confused, pissed off Tall Boy.  The whole bar was staring now, and the only sound was the music from the jukebox.

A moment later, Fangs snapped his jaw shut. “What the fuck was that?” he asked, still reeling from Sweet Pea’s dramatic exit.

You shook your head dumbly. “I have no clue.”

Jughead had a look of disgust on his face. “I need some new fucking friends.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this, and if you did, check out my other F.R.I.E.N.D.S. inspired fics as well as my other Sweet Pea x Reader fics.


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